Oh crap.......

On Tuesday morning I prepared my breakfast and a drink to wash down the first pills of my day.

I went to sit down and felt a slight twinge in my left buttock, my first thought was that it may be a pressure blister, so I had a feel. I have a lump inside my buttock!

First thought was it may be a Cyst, maybe wishful thinking.

Second thought was A&E or GP?

I spoke to Karen and she said GP, so I went to see her at 4.30pm.

She had a feel and said 'The good news is it's mobile, which is a sign of a Cyst... but the not so good news is it's very dense and that's not a property of a cyst'

She referred me to Sussex Cancer Centre (SCC), 'it could take up to two weeks to get an appointment, so I suggest you ring the SCC appointments desk in the morning'

So I did, and they got me an appointment for the week after next, and suggested I get in contact with my McMillan nurse who may be able to exert some more pressure.

So I did, she said she'd see what she could do, my Oncologist has a Clinic that day, Wednesday, so she'd try and get me into that.

She rang back in 15 mins and said Wednesdays Clinic is oversubscribed, but she's got me onto the Friday one......... RESULT!

'cos I'm scared now.

So I went to Sarah Westwell's (SW) Clinic yesterday at 1030am, a bit too early for Karen.
I saw SW and she examined me, along with a cute female trainee.

She said that she is assuming it is a tumour because of my history and asked if she could take a biopsy right away.

She ended up taking 2, no anasthetic, I was quite painful!?!.

She got a nurse in to stick a plaster on my arse, thats 4 people who've seen my naked arse this week, luckily I've never been the shy type.

She's also arranged for me to have a CT scan, marked as urgent.

I also had bloodtest for widerange testing.

Then I was out the door, after she arranged to see me on 11th August.

This getting scarier by the minute, I'm still in a lot of discomfort from the operation, and I may be having another soon.

I drove home on the verge of crying.


At about 4pm SW range me up saying that she had got the results back from the blood tests and she was a bit concerned because my Calcium level was 20% over the limit.

She wanted me to go to straight to SCC for a drug to be administered via a drip, otherwise by Monday I could have Constipation, stomach cramps and 'confusion' (nothing new on the last one said Karen, Har de Har).

More scary.

So I went there with Karen. The drug was administered, it took about 20 mins and made my arm very cold.

While I was in there SW explained the options I have, depending on the results of the CT scan.

If I have more tumours, thens it going to be Chemotherapy or a trial, which she said I'm probably eligable for again.

If it's just this one, then Radiotherapy, followed by surgery or the trial.

Here we go again.

She also told me to come back for a Blood test on Monday week to check the results of the drug.

I went to bed when I got back and thought about my kids, Karen and all my friends and started weeping uncontrollably until I fell asleep.

Today I went to tell my kids Tara and Oscar the news, a difficult conversation.